I am so relieved that my blog wasn’t completely wiped from the interweb, but I am seriously mortified that I haven’t spent the time writing a post or two in the last few years (eeek.) But here I am, back.
A thousand and one thoughts and then some.
I guess two kids does that? Changes life and turns it on its head and then shits you out on the other side and one morning you look in the mirror and see someone who looks like you and say, “Hey! Where have you been hiding?” That’s where I’m at…
The person, to copy-and-paste-from-wacko-Jacko a little, the woMan in the Mirror, was me. I cut my hair short again, for the first time in almost a decade. And I shed a few baby kilos. And I devoted some time to myself for the last few months, (albeit a twenty minute run three times a week, or a particularly long shower...) which all reminded me that under the pile of breastpads, feeding bras, poopy nappies, shopping lists, cleaning products, to-do lists and house keeping dilemmas, is me. I'm the one who wanted to be a writer, when I was done being a teacher. (Even before I became a teacher, if truth be told.) I'm also the one who used to look pretty hot in my day, (I sound old.) I used to be an exercise queen!
Okay, admittedly, parents of normal babies do need to be able to get by on less sleep than the average club-hopping student. We also need to be one hundred percent 'with it' all day, because these little tykes depend on us, for life and safety and entertainment. But I have officially smothered myself in motherhood. Yes, I hear you say, how blessed are we to have kids, and how amazing it is to sacrifice a year or two or five in order to give our kids their best start in life. And I agree wholeheartedly. BUT let me ask you this: What am I teaching my daughters, if I don't occasionally put myself first? What are my little girls learning about being a wife, mother, woman, young lady, professional, from me?
So I run. Not well, or fast. But I do. And I write. More and more every day. Because one day my daughter will look to me as an example of what she should be and do and I don't want her to think all I did was cooked and cleaned and played playdough. I want her to know that I cooked and cleaned and played playdough and exercised and used my brain. I want both my girls to see that it is important to make time for oneself and to honour oneself.
I read an article recently that stated that a 'stay-at-home-mom' was a new thing, not an aged old tradition. It makes sense, in the old days of hunting and gathering, the women had a role and showed that they were valuable too. It wasn't enough to simply love your children and play with them. You needed to do something that added value to your home - and indirectly, added value to yourself.
A year ago, the woman in the mirror was actually someone needing a kick up the butt. So welcome back to my blog. I invite you to follow me on the journey of giving her that much needed kick.